| |
| |
|
Coaching Information |
|
|
|
The Amazing Secret To Ridding Yourself Of Self Consciousness
One of the biggest challenges to developing superior communication skills is that you already have your hands full in those situations where you need help. Take a typical scenario - meeting new people. If I give you tips for listening more effectively and you rush off to practice the tips you may not get very far no matter how hard you try. Why? Because you are likely to be self conscious when you need to be other conscious. Standing in front of the new people you want to meet you freeze and you feel so unsure of yourself that you cannot remember even one of the listening tips. You need the ability to switch off self consciousness whenever you choose to do so. Sounds obvious only how can you do this? By switching your attention off of yourself and onto the other person. When you are feeling self conscious you will tend to pay too much attention to the thoughts inside your head, how you are feeling and how you look. Ironically, to develop great rapport you need to pay close attention to the other person. How is she feeling? How does she look today? Is she relaxed or tense? The Three Elements To Ridding Yourself Of Self Consciousness 1. Turn off the inner dialogue that makes you feel self conscious One way to do this is to touch the roof of your mouth with your tongue when you are not talking. We tend to move our tongues when we engage in inner talk even if only very slightly. When you put the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth you interrupt the negative inner talk pattern. Sounds simple. It is! I could write more and more about this tip but it would not help you as much as just using it. I will leave it to you to test it for yourself. 2. Give yourself a lot of external stimulation To keep your focus off of yourself you need to put more and more attention on the other person. If you only listen to her words you still have plenty of idle brain power that will drift back to make your self consciousness grow. Instead you need to give your conscious mind so much to pay attention to that you are totally absorbed in the other person. Become fascinated by how she expresses herself and not just by what she says. Keep stacking on more details to simultaneously pay attention to until you are challenged without feeling overwhelmed. Here is a list of some elements to focus on:
The more you pay attention to the other person the less self conscious you will be because you will have become other conscious. Which is in fact the hallmark of people who make friends easily. Your clear interest in the other person will shine through. 3. Patient Persistence The final point to remember is that patience and persistence wins the day. Play with these strategies a little each day and you will start to exhibit the traits of people who are supposedly gifted with people skills. People skills are a matter of strategy. Learn the strategy, practice it and you too will enjoy the benefits that come to those who get along well with whoever they meet. At the same time you need to earn the riches that await you. Many know what to do but few do what they know. About The Author Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Leading Grief Groups: The Preliminaries Preparation: If you desire advertising the group, announcements need to go to the media at least six weeks prior to the beginning of the group. Most effective is either an article or listing under Grief/support groups in the local newspaper. Attention! Thought Crossing! - Or, The Secret of What's Between Your Ears What are you thinking - right now? 'I'm reading your article!' you say. Well, take a little bit of a closer look. Dont Be Jealous - Be Inspired When we see people do things we cannot do, or have things we don't have, it might be tempting to be a little jealous. But, jealousy doesn't lead to anything except resentment, and that isn't going to help you. Smelling the Roses: Better Living Through Savoring "Stop and smell the roses," people often say. Then they smile ruefully, because everybody knows there isn't enough TIME to stop or, as my daughter says, to "chill. How Not Letting Go of Your Past can Hurt Your Future Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all we have, and most of them reside in the past. So you may ask, why should I let go of my past when much of it is filled with beautiful memories and serenity?Well, that is certainly not what I mean. A Fresh Look at the Choices We Make We are frequently held back from making future plans or reaching goals based on the perceived wrongness of choices we've made in the past. I want to give you something to think about. Do You See Clearly? "I don't see how I can just make up my mind to be happy and successful; and suddenly, magically, I will be. That seems to me to be a denial of my reality. Im Gonna Die MY Way My wife says I have the strangest taste in movies. You see, there are movies I can watch again and again, which she couldn't sit through once. Make Progress Now: Take the Hand Brakes Off Your Life! Do you find yourself striving upward in life yet making little or no progress?Are you high on activity but low on achievement?Very clearly, it's time to stop, look and listen. You're obviously not doing something right. Why Don't You Just Stuff It ALL? You got busy at work, got busy in your marriage, got busy with your home and maybe your kids and before you knew it.. Six Steps for Creating Work-Life Balance Today an increasing number of us are experiencing burnout, low productivity, insomnia, and stress related illnesses?undoubtedly due to a lack of balance between our work and personal lives. It's time to look at how we can create greater balance in our work and personal lives. Why a Self Help Book May Not Help You For a self help book to work, we have to read right it through to the end. While this may seem like a no-brainer, many people never finish reading books that they buy. Do You Want to Make More Money as A Life Coach There's a lot of coaches out there not making any money, looking for opportunities, trying to model what others are doing, networking like crazy, researching, visualizing, affirming and hoping? yes, hoping that the clients show up before the bailiffs.I've been involved in Marketing and PR and worked with and met the good, the bad and the ugly of the coaching world and can honestly say if you are not making any money there is probably a reason why that I can help you with. Be Better at Business - And Lose Weight, Too! In business, individuals often secure the services of a success coach like myself to "fix" certain areas of their professional life. The desired fixes typically range from a desire for a promotion and/or a salary increase, to on-the-job performance enhancements, to improving one's personal productivity, to boosting one's level of enthusiasm about their job. Unleash Your True Potential Some time ago I attended a birthday party and met a young guy who just happened to be 30. I say young because when you're 47, that is a young age!He told me about his career in a major corporate company where he's been working for the past 3 years. The Enchantment of Tribes to Belong To I am remembering and have a desire to share with you, a beautiful story told to me by a young lady. It was the end of the World War II and her dad was returning home. What Is A Personal Trainer Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in your life. There are so many machines and gadgets. Make a Decision and Take Action! How are you progressing with the goals you set yourself this year?Have you made a start? Or are you still thinking about it or caught the very popular "I'm too busy" epidemic?Mary's StoryMary runs her own publishing company employing 5 people. She is married with two teenagers. Secrets of Creating Interpersonal Power If you work with people, as a company owner, manager and team leader or on the customer interface, your impact on others is your most important asset! Someone creating 'Interpersonal Power', as I see it, has the ability to inspire, motivate and facilitate outstanding action in another.In 1996 I won the Olympic Games in Atlanta, GA, in Whitewater Slalom. Forget Resolutions - Craft A Life Theme That Works How many people do you know who, in January, enthusiastically name their resolution for the year yet somehow neglect to follow through with it a few weeks or months later? Forget making New Year's resolutions. They rarely work because they are often based on "shoulds" versus the bigger picture of your life.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2007 |
